Monday, February 22, 2010

I Wonder...

Each new day that I look into the face of my precious baby boy, I wonder. Does the newness and uncertainty ever wear off? Will I ever feel confident in raising a son? I wonder, will he become the man of God I pray he will be? Will I be able to teach him to be that man of God? I wonder why God has chosen now to bless and entrust me with raising a son. If I have all of these questions and insecurities, I wonder what Mary must have wondered. I wonder if she questioned, "Why me? Who am I to carry such a sacred blessing?" I wonder how she felt knowing what her baby boy would endure. I wonder if she was scared.

The only thing I am counting on is that in each new day that the Lord brings, He will also bring insight into how I should raise my precious son. He will equip me with the tools I need at each milestone and season of life that comes our way. I trust that He will instill the confidence that I need in raising a son; as I have my in raising daughters. I am thankful that I did not have to enter into parenthood alone; because the Father has always been there to help me. In all of my fears and failures, He is there. And in my security and confidence, He is there. Am I the only mom with these questions, fears, and concerns that also cries out to the Lord for help and assurance with parenting? I wonder?

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Hospitalized With RSV

You know it isn't a good sign when your child falls asleep during a breathing treatment at 5:00 in the afternoon. That is exactly what happened Friday evening, January 29th, when Abigail was getting what I thought to be a "normal" breathing treatment. After realizing that she had fallen asleep, I checked her forehead and sure enough she had fever. No biggie, we had had a few late nights so I thought she was just overly tired. I let her rest for a little while, got her up, did our nightly routine, and put all the kids to bed. She woke up early Saturday morning and crawled into bed with Ross and I and fell back asleep. This is where she stayed all day. In our bed. When I say all day, I literally mean all day long. I had to carry her to the bathroom to go potty; with her crying the whole time. She slept for hours at a time, and just when it would get to the point where I felt like we needed to take her somewhere she would wake up for a little while. She was only awake for about 20 minutes at a time, but at least we knew she was still responsive. Now you have to remember that because of all of the snow, all of the doctor's offices were closed; which meant if we did take her somewhere it would have to be the ER. Up until this point Abigail has never really been sick. Sick with EE, yes. Sick with a cold, yes, but really sick with an illness? No. I had listened to her lungs and they sounded clear and her temp wasn't terribly high; so we called it a night and all went to bed. Then Sunday arrived. Same thing. Won't get out of bed, won't drink her formula, won't talk, and temp is hanging out right around 103. The only good thing we had going at this point is that she had been drinking water so we knew she wasn't getting dehydrated. After giving her a bath, I noticed that her hands and feet were kind of gray in color. Thinking they were just cold, I tried warming them up. Then I had Ross try. While he was trying, I decided I needed to listen to her lungs. That is when I knew we needed to take her to the emergency room. At this point she wasn't wheezing, but she had significant crackles (indicative of pneumonia) in the bottom right lobe, and her lungs had been perfectly clear the day before. By the time we could get to the ER she was retracting at the trachea, indicating that her breathing was becoming more labored. Her pulse ox was 87 and dropping rapidly, even after a Xopenex updraft. She had two more breathing treatments and was placed on oxygen. After each of the breathing treatments, her pulse ox continually dropped, and she was admitted for RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus) and viral pneumonia. She was on continual oxygen for five days straight. Just when they thought they could wean her down, they would have to up it again. Let me just say that it is very frustrating to see your child get weaned down to 1/4 of a liter of oxygen just to turn around a few hours later and see her back up to 2 1/2 liters. The oxygen levels continued going up and down until Friday morning when she woke up and was suddenly much better. After several hours off of the oxygen (including a nap without it) we were finally able to go home. We sure were glad to get home and finally be able to sleep in our own beds! Of coarse during this hospital stay, the other 3 kids ended up sick. We think Hannah must have been the original RSV culprit because she had what we thought to be "just a cold" the week before. So, she ended up with a secondary ear infection. Mary Grace and Jonathan both came down with RSV a couple of days after Abbz was in the hospital. Ross had the two sick big girls at home, and I had both sick babies with me in the hospital. At one point Ross asked me if they had family rooms at the hospital. :) Luckily, none of the other kiddos got it as badly as Abigail! Needless to say, if any of your kids get RSV, brace yourself and prepare for your entire family to end up with it. It's apparently highly contagious because we have never had all of the kids sick at one time before.